"You say kill it? I don't want that to happen!"

I don't even know where to begin...I guess I begin in the morning. This morning was blessed because I actually got up and went to my exercise class (beginning at 8:00, but we have to leave by 7:30 to get there on time). We did great getting out the door, the trouble began after the exercise class. Half-pint was dawdling along to the car as usual, until we reach the parking lot, then he runs (that's going to be a whole separate blog post!). I finally get him to stop as the car parked next to ours begins to pull out. He moves to the front of our car where the landscaping between the parking spots and the road into the parking lot consists completely of rocks and a few trees. While I'm getting Quarter-pint in the car (I can't wrestle Half-pint if I'm holding 20 pound Quarter-pint!) Half-pint decides it's a great idea to throw rocks and a stick into the street, then he changes his trajectory towards the cars! Needless to say, getting him into the car is not going well. He loves to go to the grocery store, so I tell him that we can't go if he won't get in his "chair" (aka: car seat with a firm chest clip!).

Eventually Half-pint gets into his chair nicely and we head to the grocery store despite my hesitations about his behavior. As we approach the store, Half-pint saw the grocery carts with the truck in front and decided he wanted to drive one. I agreed, knowing that he wouldn't stay in the driver's seat for long, but the promise of a cookie from the bakery usually goes a long way in keeping the driver in his seat. As we move through the produce section, Half-pint gets out of the truck and wants to help me. Everything okay so far until he walks around the corner out of my line of sight. I hear a smallish crash and poke my head around the corner. Half-pint was running his little hand along the displays and knocked about half a dozen crouton bags on the floor with his unzipped jacket. He was trying to pick them up, but kept knocking them off. As soon as we finished picking them up, he immediately ran his little hand along the display and did it again. Before I could get to the cart (with Quarter-pint in it) Half-pint decided to drive again, but not in the truck, by pushing the cart (he isn't tall enough to see over the top and Quarter-pint's car seat was blocking his view) into another display. By this time we have 3 items on our list and we are still in the first department of the store...I thought it was bad...As I tried to quickly finish our shopping Half-pint is hanging out of the truck windows, dragging his hand along the floor, climbing up and hanging out of the windshield, then turning about to face me (still hanging out of the windshield) to say "You okay Momma?" "Yes, sit down please." By the time we get to the bakery and dairy (almost finished shopping!) Half-pint decides he wants to help me get the yogurt from the shelf so he climbs on top of the truck. After I get everything on our list (I think there were about 12 whole items) I think we're just about home free...but the only checkout lane open in a self-check lane. "Oh great!" I think to myself as we get started. Half-pint wants to help, so he again climbs on top of the truck, but he still can't reach the scanner and I can't position the cart in a place where I can reach it and the scanner so I'm running around the cart to grab as many items as I can, scanning them and then running around the cart again to place them on the weight sensitive bagging platform. After Half-pint fell off the top of the truck (thank goodness I caught him just before he hit the floor) he decided it was too dangerous to help me. He kept himself busy by touching the screen of the grocery checker for the self-check lanes, and rearranging the gum on the shelf across the isle from us. The entire time, Quarter-pint is babbling away, smiling at everyone around us. Oh, those are the days!!!. I think we've gotten through the worst of it as Half-pint rides on the back of the cart with me to the car. But then he won't get in his car seat...again! He hid in the cart corral in the next parking space, and threw rocks at ME when I tried to encourage him to get into the car. I think it took about 10 minutes to get him into the car and buckled, but in the end, he showed me that he could do it "all-by-my-self!"

I was TOTALLY exasperated as I pulled out of the parking lot. Our short shopping list took an hour to get. I called Daddy on his cell phone and simply said "I don't know what to do with him." Daddy suggested that I just stay home with the boys all the time. My response was "I can't stay home all the time, I might kill him." From the back seat comes the little voice of Half-pint "Did you say kill it? You say kill it? I don't want that to happen!" "I don't want that to happen either!" I don't know if he knew who I was talking about, but he doesn't miss a thing!