Shower Rules

So, Half-pint has a few rules to follow while I am in the shower and Daddy isn't home. I always have Half-pint repeat the shower rules to me before I get in the shower and generally he watches cartoons on my bed.

• Rule #1: No Answering the Phone
• Rule #2: No Opening the (front) Door
• Rule #3: No jumping on the Bed (there is no reasonable way I can enforce this one...but Half-pint always throws it in.)

These rules are generally followed, but not always...
A few weeks ago Half-pint was having a tough morning-just plain being naughty. After a time-out or two and having TV privileges revoked (which, by the way, is NOT a good way to begin the day) I finally thought Half-pint had settled down. I got Quarter-pint asleep for his morning nap and I told Half-pint I was going to take a quick shower. Because the TV was not an option, I thought playing computer games would keep him occupied long enough for me to get cleaned up, after all, he was already playing a computer game. We went over the "shower rules", everything seemed fine.

As I opened the shower door to get out, I heard an unfamiliar voice call out "Hello? Is anyone home? Hello...I have your son." I called back and raced downstairs in my bathrobe and a towel on my dripping hair. Sure enough, a very kind woman (with about 10 kids in tow) was standing on my front porch with Half-pint right next to her. She said he was outside, hiding in the bushes and that he had been there for about 10 minutes! That's the entire time I had been in the shower! She asked him how he had gotten out and he told her the door. Sure enough, he had unlocked the front door and run outside, still in his pajamas and with a VERY stinky diaper! I was so embarrassed!

Just the other day, we discussed the "shower rules" again. As I got in the shower, I could hear Half-pint moving chairs around in the kitchen. I wondered what he was up to (there is never any telling what he's up to!) and hurried to finish my shower. When I came downstairs, there he was watching his movie on the couch, everything seemed fine. I looked on the kitchen table and found the loaf of bread I had baked the day before-with tunnels burrowed through it! We had sliced bread in the same cupboard where he found the unsliced bread. I'm not sure what he was thinking...practicing to become a Sandhog???

This morning he wanted a slice of bread, so I cut him one. He was NOT happy about all the holes in his slice. "No, it's broken! Maybe we cut the back side!" I wouldn't cut the back side-I know, I'm so mean!-(what a smart little turkey!) but got him a piece of sliced bread instead.